CBSLA reports that there’s a guy using dating apps to troll women — but not in the way you’d think. Once he matches up with them, he arranges to meet at a
nice restaurant where he chows down and then stiffs his date with the bill. You might say he’s a monster, but I’d like to point out that women have been using this move forever. Turnabout is fair play and maybe this handsome guy is the 44-year-old hero we need.
Our hero’s name is Paul — or Dave, because aliases, am I right?
A string of women who prefer to remain anonymous have him in their phones as “Paul Gonzales,” but the alleged “dine-and-dasher” played his romantic hand at online dating apps like Bumble under the name “Dave Gonzales.” I don’t have the facts, but I think he wrestled in the ’90s as Giant Gonzales, and while the jury’s still out on that, let’s agree that when the bill comes, he runs like Usain Bolt.
He meets women online or via dating apps…
“Are you available at all this weekend for dinner?” says nice guy, Paul/Dave, just putting himself out there, according to one of the unidentified women who ran to CBS Los Angeles to snitch. She went on to say that as she read through her text conversation, she expected it would be just a “typical blind date,” so what happened completely surprised her — but if I know women, and I do, they love surprises.
And arranges to meet them at
fancy nice restaurants BJ’s…
He immediately ordered a “glass of Pinot, a Caesar salad with a side of shrimp, a steak, and a baked potato,” claims another jilted woman who’s probably not used to being the one who pays. She carried on that as soon as he finished stuffing his face, he got on his phone and said, “I need to take this.” I believe women call that the “My Roommate Really Needs Me Right Now,” a move so popular there are apps that actually set fake incoming calls for you.
But when he’s done eating, he sneaks out and leaves his dates to pick up the bill.
He never returns from taking that “phone call,” but, he does facilitate new budding romances between the heartbroken women he ditches and members of the concerned kitchen staff by forcing them to engage one another in sort of an awkward, but courteously, well-meaning, victim-shaming:
Server: “He’s not out there, is this a first date?”
Jilted Date: “Yes, this is a first blind date.”
Server: “He’s gone.”
If the server plays his cards right, he can swoop in and take this girl home.
Ah, the old “good cop/bad cop” act. Gonzales sets these servers up to just lay it in. Her self-esteem’s at an all-time low and if she can’t pay the check, she’s either washing dishes or relying on the kindness of strangers — which is how she got into this situation in the first place.