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Miami Lawyer’s Hot Pants Create In-Seam Inferno

The Miami Herald reported a story so crazy it could only have happened in Florida. A man, Claudy Charles, stands accused of intentionally setting his own car on fire in South Miami-Dade. If convicted, he faces second-degree arson charges… So, it’s up to a ragtag group of his peers and a hot-shot attorney named Stephen Gutierrez, whose specialized knowledge of exothermic science might be his only chance in this classic case of courtroom drama.

To help his client beat an arson case, a lawyer tried the old ‘spontaneous combustion’ argument…

Pants-on-Fire-Color (1)
Christina Henderson

As the 28-year old defense attorney presented his case before jurors, he claimed that the defendant didn’t intentionally set fire to his own car — but rather, it “spontaneously combusted.” Who hasn’t seen that age-old story played out a hundred times? Classic boy loves car, boy (allegedly) sets fire to car scenario.

When, out of nowhere, he, himself, spontaneously combusted…

Scanners / Giphy

During his closing arguments, he suddenly “… rushed out of the Miami courtroom…” Apparently, he’d been “fiddling” in his pocket when, unexpectedly, smoke began pouring from his pants “…leaving spectators stunned” as his right pocket burst into flames — possibly set ablaze by the burning irony of justice — causing him to flee like the man on fire. Been there, brother…

But he would rise like a phoenix from the ashes…

Liar Liar / Universal Pictures

Later, with a visibly singed pocket and an explanation involving the faulty battery of an e-cigarette, our hero returned to find the jury missing from the courtroom. Reportedly, they’d been ushered out during his in-seam inferno and now he’d be robbed of his slow burning “ta-da” moment.

And In the end, he lost the case — so in the eyes of our justice system, the 48-year old defendant lit his own car on fire. Obviously.

Mr. Nobody / Wild Bunch

His client was convicted of second-degree arson. Like the fella says, “it’s better to burn out than fade away” anyway… Oh, and as far as arsons go, second-degree is at least the second worst kind of arson there is, IMO.

[H/T] Hot story: Miami lawyer’s pants erupt in flames during arson trial in court 

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