Those super sleek Go-Pro travel videos make road trips seem like a relaxing thing to do, until… you have your brother farting in the car and your sister’s stinky feet all out in the open.
Let’s be real, this is what our family road trips are really like:
When going on a family vacation, you expect stunning views and gusts of fresh air like you see on those online travel videos.
Don’t they make road trips seem so beautiful and relaxing?
But truth is, family road trips are nothing like those videos. They’re the complete opposite starting with the cramped family
You know there’s no way all those maletas are going to possibly fit in the car. Somehow you make it work even though everytime you take a turn, you hear the bumper scrape something because the car is weighed down so much.
Because everyone in your family overpacks, you’re stuck in one spot in the car for the entire trip, with zero arm space or leg room.
It’s even worse when you’re sitting in the back and the person in front of you decides to recline their seat all the way to your knees.
Things start to get more uncomfortable when all of a sudden the AC breaks down.
And there’s no changing out of your musty clothes until you arrive at your destination.
After being in the car for an extended period of time, odors slowly start to build up…and it ain’t cute.
It starts to become a congested space of stinky breath and booty sweat.
You know what else ain’t cute? When your siblings decide to take off their shoes and lift up their cheese-and-caca-smelling-feet in the car.
But they swear their feet don’t stink.
But the worst odor of all comes when someone in the car decides to let out one of those silent-but-deadly farts.
Depending on how potent the fart is, you might even taste in your mouth because of how squished and congested you all are in the car.
After dealing with stinky feet and silent-but-deadly farts, all you want to do is get out of the car for some fresh air and a small snack. But nooooo, your mom has sandwiches prepared because she doesn’t want to waste time (or money, tbh) pulling over.
But you have to admit, the sandwiches are bomb.
Once you start driving through that road that’s in the middle of nowhere, you have only two options if you really have to use the restroom: 1. You stop and pee by a bush, or 2. You don’t stop at all and do this:
You can go with the second option based on how good your aiming skills are.
If one of your siblings resorts to restroom option #2, make sure you don’t mistakingly drink from that water bottle.
Be careful. This can and will happen. And it’s awful.
If you’re not accidentally drinking your siblings’ piss, then you’re arguing with them about who gets to take charge of the AUX cord.
Usually the one with most fire playlist wins… Or the oldest.
But no matter how hectic and stressful family road trips can be, the destination and fun times you have with your family, make it all worth it.
These vacations wouldn’t be the same without your stinky ass family.