You don’t have to be a major league baseball player to know that Dominican barbershops are a grand slam! But, what you might not know is that the experience is as much about the shapeups, lineups, and cut styles as it is about the atmosphere. Where else can you find a barber who can dance without spilling his coffee as he wins an argument with his landlord on the phone while giving you the best haircut of your life?
If you’re like me, you crave the smoothness of a straight razor shave, but wish it had a little more…let’s say, pageantry.
Well, look no further! You’ll walk into a barbershop and suddenly be transported to sunny Santo Domingo as the man with a blade to your throat dances bachata with his eyes closed. Finally, a barber for the adrenaline junkie in all of us.
Plus, they can give you the bone structure that God
Shoutout to barbers for giving jawlines to us chubby-faced dudes. Seriously, my face shape is “doughnut.”
Because they use at least 3 kinds of razors!
Gillette’s Mach3 razor changed the face of shaving when it was introduced because it used three blades at once. Dominican barbers will give you that same innovative cut — just not at the same time, so it takes 3x as long, but it’s worth it.
Also, they get the freshest selection of bootleg movies available…
The quality of your barber shop is relative to the selection of bootleg dvds offered by hustlers coming in off the street.
Disclaimer: It’s safe to buy microwaves, but definitely don’t buy sunglasses, because whoever they stole them from probably lives in the area.
Plus, the coffee. Trust me.
It’s unreal. Serving it in those blue paper cups makes it even better, somehow, and nobody knows why. Coffee is a staple of the culture and an important part of Dominican social life.
When it’s over, you get powdered…
They’ll give your face the baby’s butt treatment that your skin will go gaga for. I think it was Scarface who famously said, “In this country, you get the powder. Then when you get the powder, you get the women…” Either way, that’s one of the two rules I live by — that, and “Always listen to guys whose names have the word ‘scar’ in them.”
And warm toweled — whether you want it or not.
Your poor pores have suffered enough bad shaves. Pamper them bad boys with a warm towel! It’s not just for rich guys on airplanes anymore!
So, go get your haircut, already…
Oh, and while you’re there, get them ALL cut! See what I did there?! Oh, dad jokes…